Why relaxation doesn't start in a yoga class—and how you do find peace.

Do you recognize the feeling of being constantly busy and always worrying? Meeting that last deadline, ensuring the sick colleague's work is done thoroughly too. Taking the children to sports club on time. A quick stop at the store and then conjuring up a healthy meal.

Before you know it, it’s too late to turn on the TV and switch off for a moment. Time to go to bed, because the alarm goes off tomorrow morning, and the same ritual begins. “Finally Friday, yes almost the weekend, just one more day to give it your all.”

Finally home after a long workday. Oops, the cleaning lady didn't come. I guess I'll just clean tomorrow, scrub all the frustration off. As I go along, we see more work appearing. Just a quick bit of this, a quick bit of that too… and shall we also just…

Before you know it, the day is over and you collapse onto the sofa. Tired and exhausted. Yes, enjoying yourself? You're too tired for that. But luckily, you still have Sunday. For many, a day to maintain family ties. But truly time entirely for yourself...?

Everyone needs to completely relax and break free from their daily routine. I’m not talking about meditation or yoga classes. But if that is your ultimate way to relax, there is of course nothing wrong with that. Then you need to take your moment. For me, this doesn't work, and it makes me very restless. I try to take my moment by cuddling with my dog for a bit, having a good conversation, reading a book because I feel like it, taking a short power nap, going on an adventure, or simply enjoying a delicious latte macchiato with the perfect foam layer in the sunshine.

I wrote earlier that I “try” to take my moment. We are all stuck in our daily routines, and it is very difficult to break this cycle. I have 7 tips that can be a tool to help you Relax Completely for a moment. This way, we can get started together.

Tip 1: Take time for yourself

1. Taking time for yourself—without guilt

Maybe you recognize this : your day is over before you know it. You have worked, emailed, planned, cooked, taken care of things. And somewhere in between, you thought: "Later, I'll sit down for a bit." But 'later' never comes.

We are so used to taking care of others that we often forget how to take care of ourselves. As if taking time for yourself is a luxury, something you deserve when everything is finished. But know this: it is never finished!

Taking time for yourself is not selfishness. It is self-maintenance.

2. Why things often go wrong

We women are constantly 'on'. And even when you have a free moment, your thoughts fill it with everything you still have to do . Half an hour on the couch ends up scrolling, worrying, or multitasking again.

3. What if it could be different?

Time for yourself doesn't have to be a whole afternoon at the spa or a retreat. It can also be 15 minutes with a cup of tea or coffee and no screen. Or 10 minutes where you literally don't 'have' to do anything – and briefly mention that to those around you: “Not available right now.”

4. Small exercise – applicable today

➡️ Plan one 15-minute moment for yourself today.

Put it in your calendar. Choose something that doesn't have to have a 'purpose'. Reading. Staring. Something creative. No achievement. Just being.

And if someone wants something from you at that moment? Then say kindly: "I have an appointment right now" With myself.

It is very important, of course, that you really do absolutely nothing that you have to do. If you want to read that one article, it is simply because you want to read it out of interest, and not because it might be useful for your work…

5. A gentle reminder

You don't need more time. You need permission – from yourself – to take back a piece of that time. Start small. But do start .

Tip 2: Learning to set boundaries – without guilt

1. What you allow becomes the norm

How often do you say "yes" when you actually mean "no" ?

Perhaps because you don't want to disappoint others. Or because you think: “Oh, it’s just a small thing.” But all those little 'things' together become a heavy burden – and those moments of rest for yourself fade into the background again. Every time you ignore your own boundaries, you teach others (and yourself) that your time and energy are less important.

2. Why we struggle with no

From a young age, we have been trained to be kind and ready to help. Otherwise, we perceive this as being unfriendly and selfish. But it isn't. As long as you are there when someone is truly in need, when things might go wrong without your help, then you are not selfish at all.

Boundaries are not walls. They are doors.

They say: “This is welcome, this is not.” They provide oxygen in your life.

3. How do you recognize that your boundaries are being crossed?

Pay attention to these signals:

• You feel empty after contact with certain people

• You say 'yes' and immediately feel regret

• You have little to no time for yourself

• You feel irritation or frustration but swallow it.

Does this sound familiar? Then it is time to start lovingly guarding your boundaries.

4. Concrete exercise – The 3-second rule

Do you feel like someone is asking you for something you don't really want to do or don't have the time for? Count to three before you answer. Use those three seconds to check: "Do I really want this, or do I feel obligated?"

And practice these sentences:

• I’ll think about it for a moment and get back to you later.

• It's sweet of you to ask me, but this time I'm just saying no.

• It’s not working out for me today, but maybe another time.

Short, clear boundaries. Without explanation or justification. Because: no is not wrong.

5. You may choose

Your time is precious. You get to decide what you give away, to whom, and when. And whoever truly respects you also respects your boundaries.

Boundaries are not a rejection of the other person. They are an acknowledgment of yourself.

Tip 3: Escape your routine – without turning your whole life upside down

1. You don't have to run away from your life… but stepping out of it every now and then to relax does help.

We sometimes get stuck in our own patterns. Everything revolves around caring, organizing, and performing – and even rest often has to 'fit' into the schedule.

Maybe you sometimes feel it: "Is this it? When is it my turn?"

You don't have to make a drastic decision to feel like you have room to breathe again. Sometimes you just need a change of scenery.

2. Why a different environment makes such a difference

At home, you are often not truly free. Even in your free time, you remain in the role of 'doer': cooking, answering texts, quickly doing this or that.

But as soon as you are somewhere else – literally in a different environment – something magical happens:

• You get off autopilot

• Your senses awaken

• You feel space again

• You don't have to do anything at all for a while.

And that break, however short, restores you more than ten nights in bed early.

3. Small escapes, big impact

You don't have to go far to experience that feeling. Sometimes just one night away is enough. Or an afternoon with no plan, in a place you don't know.

And sometimes you feel it in every fiber of your being: "I really want to be somewhere else for a while." Not as a tourist. Not with your family. Just you, in an environment where you don't have to do anything.

Moments like that are not a luxury. They are nourishment.

4. Let this be an invitation

What would happen if you truly allowed yourself that space? If you weren't needed for a moment? If you could feel who you are again, separate from everything you do?

Sometimes the answer is not 'taking more rest' – but simply being somewhere where peace arises naturally.

Tip 4: You don't always have to work on yourself

1. Everything has to be better – or not?

We are constantly told that we need to grow. More self-confidence, more balance, more self-care, more focus… As if you are never allowed to just be who you are.

For many women, rest even becomes a kind of achievement: “I have to do something to feel better.” “I still need to learn to let go.” “I need to work on myself for a bit.”

But sometimes you do n't need a project. No goal. Just a break.

2. You are not a self-help book

You don't have to reflect, meditate, or be grateful every day. Sometimes it is enough to laugh. To sleep. To be outside. To be with people who have no expectations of you.

Recharging doesn't mean you need therapy. Sometimes it just means catching your breath. No explanation needed.

3. Time for yourself can also simply be fun

A weekend away, a cozy evening, a walk without earphones – it doesn't have to be meaningful to do you good. You don't have to learn anything from it. You can just enjoy it.

4. What can you do today?

Ask yourself:

What do I want to do today because I feel like it – and not because it is 'good for me'?

And do that. Without guilt. You'll see: that creates space.

5. You don't have to get better. You can just live.

Allow yourself to not be a 'work in progress' for a moment. Not busy improving, but simply present.

That is not a luxury. That is common sense .

Tip 5: Friendship as a source of energy

1. You don't have to do everything alone

In daily life, a lot revolves around responsibility. Caring for others. Organizing things. Persevering. And before you know it, you’ve lost yourself a little… and also the people who give you energy.

Friendship often fades into the background – just when you need it most.

2. Time with girlfriends is not a luxury

A good conversation. Laughing until your stomach hurts. Being able to be completely yourself for a moment. That is not a perk. That is maintenance for your soul .

And no, it doesn't have to be a big gathering:

• A walk with a friend who really listens

• Sitting together on a terrace and not having to talk about anything

• Just being able to say: “I’m fed up with it all” – and having someone say: “Me too”

Those are the moments that recharge you, without requiring any effort.

3. Remind yourself: you don't have to keep it up on your own.

You don't have to be a superwoman. And you don't have to carry it all alone without support. True friendship makes things lighter. Not because solutions are found, but because you are one.

For a moment, you become who you are again, free from all the roles you have to play.

4. What can you do today?

Send a message to someone you feel comfortable with. Not with a plan, not with an excuse. Just: “Hello, I have a quick question. Time and in the mood to catch up?”

Don't wait until it 'fits'. Make it important.

5. You don't have to solve it all yourself. Sometimes you just need someone to sit next to you.

Friendship is not a side issue. It is a source of energy. And you deserve to surround yourself with people who recharge you, not drain you.

Tip 6: The power of getting away

1. Sometimes you just need a breath of fresh air.

At home, there is always something to do. The laundry. The groceries. Someone who needs something. Even when you have "time off," there is rarely real peace.

And yes, taking a bath or reading a book every now and then helps – but sometimes that is just not enough.

Your mind only clears when you step out of that environment for a moment.

2. A different place brings a different feeling

There is something magical about getting away for a while. You literally step out of your routine, and suddenly things happen on their own:

• You feel less pressure

• You laugh more

• You don't have to 'arrange' anything for a while.

• You get closer to yourself, effortlessly

It doesn't have to be a long journey. But a few days in a different place , away from it all, really makes a difference.

3. Why 'getting away for a bit' isn't selfish

Many women find it difficult to take time for themselves. “I can’t leave my family behind.” “What will they think if I just slip away for a bit?”

But here is the truth:

If you don't recharge, it's no use to anyone. Being away often means coming back with more energy, more breathing room, and more patience.

That is good for you – and for the people around you.

4. What can you do today?

Ask yourself: “Where would I want to go if I could really disappear for a moment?” A place without to-dos, without a role, without expectations.

And then: write it down. Make it real. Maybe not today, maybe not next week – but give it the right to exist.

You don't have to book it right away. But the desire is allowed to be there.

5. You deserve to simply not be there every now and then.

Getting away for a while isn't escaping. It's recharging . A break you need to be yourself again – and to return stronger afterwards.

Tip 7: The luxury of not having to do anything

1. When was the last time you really didn't have to do anything?

Not having to perform. Not having to worry. Not thinking: "What do I still have to do later?"

Just a day without obligations. No agenda. No expectations. That seems like a luxury – but perhaps it is a necessity.

Because if you always have to, you lose yourself in the hustle and bustle.

2. It is not lazy. It is recovering.

Many women struggle with doing nothing. Because doing nothing feels… unnatural. We are so used to always being 'busy' that resting sometimes feels like failure.

But you know what?

Rest is not empty. It is space. Time in which you breathe, without having to live up to anything.

After that, you can clearly feel what you want again, instead of just reacting to what others need.

3. You don't always have to achieve something.

Not every day has to be productive. Not every evening needs to be filled with meaning. Sometimes just being is enough. A coffee. A view. A slow morning. Without guilt.

4. What can you drop today?

Take a look at your schedule. And consciously choose one thing you are not going to do. Simply because you don't have to .

Use that time to sit for a moment. To do nothing. To breathe. And feel what that does to you.

5. You are allowed to simply exist – even if you do nothing

That is real luxury. Not champagne or designer goods. But peace of mind. Time for yourself. No pressure.

You don't have to earn it. You can allow yourself this. Period.

For me, these tips are a nice guideline. And there are days when applying them just happens naturally, while other days I risk falling back into my usual pattern. I write it in my planner, but when I see that my little moment has to make way, day after day, for something I find more urgent, I reach for my journal and just write everything down. For me, this is a way of looking at my circle from a distance for a moment. This way, I consciously name my thoughts, feelings, or experiences, and this helps me not to burn myself out at work. And sometimes it is also nice to leaf through it.

I hope my tips may be a support.

With my small group tours from Travel With Bieke, you can escape the daily grind for a while. With my women's group tours, you step into another world. A world of relaxation with like-minded women. Together, we experience cool adventures and explore authentic Portugal. For me, traveling has proven to be an ideal outlet.

Love, Bieke